New York’s hottest New Year’s Eve party is Auld Lang ZING. Run by...– Stefon (in a conversation he totally just had with me … in my mind)
With myriad church bells, “Bed Intruder” is the best Christmas song...– Me
Unlike Thanksgiving, Christmas reminds me of everything I do/don’t have....– Me
The ghosts of Arbor Day Past, Present and Future also haunted Scrooge, but he...
Jon Stewart and The Daily Show May Have Saved the... →
Sometimes, my heart is empty. But then I realize it’s actually my stomach,...
My hypothetical kids in 2023: “Daddy, why is it called a newspaper when...
You will read a tiny slip of paper and be disappointed.– A terrible fortune cookie
I’d display an Oscar in my bedroom. Emmy? Living room. Grammy? Bathroom....– Me
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